Several
years ago, probably before Pip, and certainly before Polly, was born, the
public elementary school they now attend rebranded itself around an arts heavy
curriculum. The concept behind this restructuring was that every child would
get at least one hour every day in an arts-oriented class and every Friday students
would have opportunities to do more intensive work in an area of interest. In
practice this is less dramatic than it sounds – physical education, library,
and computer each get their own days along with art, music, and dance/drama –
but the guiding principle is appealing and as the kids get older the intensive
work times do seem to be giving them real exposure to both the creative and
disciplinary effort involved in producing artistic works.
For
parents, the most visible demonstration of this educational program at work is
the two large musical productions put on each year, one before the winter
holiday and the other before summer vacation. These productions include every
child in the school and contain a mix of drama, dance routines, and full-scale
musical numbers. They are a lot of fun to watch. The kids sing loud. They dance
with surprising sophistication. They show great composure performing before an auditorium
overflowing with family and friends
Two weeks
ago, Pip came walking down the steps from his bedroom and announced that he was
interested in competing for one of the solo parts in the show. As he’d never
mentioned any such wish before, I imagine this impulse was driven in part by a
desire to claim some of the attention Polly had gained after she was selected
for one of the dance roles. What other motivations he might have remained
unspoken.
That day he started trying out his
voice in a concerted way and really working to put notes and words together. He’d
always enjoyed singing the songs for the shows, but now he started paying
attention to how his notes actually sounded. This effort coincided with the
appearance of the Frozen soundtrack
in our lives and soon he was belting out ‘Let It Go’ like a fourteen year old
getting over her first breakup. In the process he learned to support his sound
by using his stomach muscles and experimented with adding some vibrato to
longer notes.
Then while
walking home the rain last Friday, Pip peeks out from under his umbrella and
says,
“Daddy, I’m
not going to try out for a solo.”
“Why not?”
I asked, surprised by this unexpected turn. Just the day before he had made a
big deal about asking the teachers when the auditions were going to be held.
“Um,” he
said uncertainly, “I don’t like the songs.”
Now Pip has
been known to sing just about anything, so something about this answer didn’t
feel right. I said as much to him.
His reply
was to ask that we not talk about it anymore.
Obviously
something had changed. I don’t know if he just got nervous thinking about what
it meant to sing in front of other people or if some of his peers had trashed
the idea or if some other thing had occurred that I couldn’t imagine, but he
was not going to tell me.
I wasn’t
sure how to handle this. While I wanted to respect his choices, I also wanted
him to try out, not because I thought he would necessarily get the part or that
he was destined to succeed but because you don’t get anywhere without trying
things. A solo part in the show was something he had expressed interested in
and worked towards. He should follow through on that interest if for no other
reason than to see if it really is what he thought it would be.
In addition, these kind of
opportunities – the opportunity to sing, act, play music, play sports in a
organized way before a real audience - get fewer and fewer as one becomes
older. Kids begin to specialize in this, that, or the other thing and there is
less room to give something a whirl. As an adult these kind of experiences have
to be balanced against the demands of work and family, making them always
something of a guilty pleasure. This wasn’t necessarily the last chance Pip
would have to try out something like this, but every year further on it
definitely gets more and more competitive.
Lastly, I have found that the
willingness to try things or not is often a matter of habit and I want both Pip
and Polly to be more the former than the latter. Polly has had good success on
this front. Pip’s willingness to put himself out there has varied. As such, this
sudden backing away from something he’d been so interested in the day before
felt like something to be pushed back against.
So, I did.
I told him I thought he should reconsider his decision, that he should think
some more about why he suddenly didn’t want to try out. I wanted to keep
pushing further, to give him some examples of times when I wished I’d gone
ahead and tried out for something but didn’t. I even began to concoct a story of
a time I didn’t go out for a part in the school play and later watched from the
audience wondering the entire time whether I could have made it.
Fortunately,
better sense prevailed. Polly interjected with a story about what she did at
recess that day, and I put my fake stories away for another time. Despite my
impulse to badger away at him until he gave in, I was able to keep my trap shut
and let my first statement be enough. Through the entire weekend I only came
back to the topic one more time and then only to tell him that I wanted him to
make a decision before he went to school on Tuesday, the day of the audition.
He agreed.
****
Yesterday,
Pip came out from school happy and bouncing as usual. He’d been sick over the
weekend and had stayed home from school on Monday so I was pleased to see him
feeling good. The first thing he said to me was,
“Daddy, I did
it. I tried out.”
“You did?
Wonderful,” I said. “How did it go?”
“I don’t
know if I’ll get the part but I’m proud that I tried.”
I couldn’t
have been more pleased.
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