tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577874899733707685.post2132672003935319559..comments2023-10-29T10:23:49.164-04:00Comments on Post-Industrial Parenthood: Shattering the LEGO mythJeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13911644689635534904noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577874899733707685.post-22236371136428170702011-03-17T00:05:34.543-04:002011-03-17T00:05:34.543-04:00Anonymous, thanks for your thoughts on balancing t...Anonymous, thanks for your thoughts on balancing the time between the kids. I agree with everything you said and am working towards creating better opportunities for Pip and Polly to switch roles. <br /><br />Pip and I still hold on to habits we developed before Polly was born and breaking them is more difficult than I would have ever expected. With Polly's emergence into a fuller sense of individual agency, it is understandable for her to be pushing back against us. The challenge now is for me to both appropriately define the time I spend with them and carve out specific activities for which Polly is the lead child. I'm getting there, but it is definitely taking some work.Jeffhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13911644689635534904noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577874899733707685.post-76796376367218420612011-03-04T14:01:10.765-05:002011-03-04T14:01:10.765-05:00The following quote really struck me - "I wan...The following quote really struck me - "I want them to be better than this, to be above this kind of manipulative back and forth." It sounds like this scenario is a *perfect* opportunity to teach them just this. We aren't born with empathy or reason, after all. Instead of Polly being allowed to participate in the clean up, perhaps she should have had some sort of tangible consequence (e.g., a "time out") for choosing a behavior that disrupted the work of others. It seems to me that her options should be to either participate in the Lego building in a constructive manner or choose something else that she does independently . There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with spending time doing something with one child while the other looks on or entertains him or herself if they cannot handle participating (or simply choose not to). In fact, it's a rather important life skill, don't you think?<br /><br />Rather than giving up on the Legos or seeing them as some sort of "privileged site" that the children are using as a means for competition, try seeing that it's within your power as the parent to make the Legos *exactly* what you want them to be: a calm and happy past-time with your child. Wanting those moments with your children is not naive. Those moments are what help to sustain you when you're frustrated or tired. But, it's incredibly important to make them aware of such moments and let them know that it is never all right to disrupt that sort of experience between people. <br /><br />So, play on with the Legos! And, find something that you enjoy doing with Polly just as much. It will be a good opportunity for Pip to switch roles and experience what his sister goes through as the observer. I think everyone will come out better for it in the end.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-577874899733707685.post-76659303262778853882011-03-03T10:08:40.961-05:002011-03-03T10:08:40.961-05:00Love it! Hilarious! Keep up the great work togeth...Love it! Hilarious! Keep up the great work together as parents!Mr. John McCombshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02706813259820860043noreply@blogger.com